http://www.changeyourhabit.com/index.php Martin Schiffman en 2008-07-05T09:29:08 asif@eits.info hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 http://www.changeyourhabit.com/index.php?p=140&c=1 2007-04-26T11:04:27 admin (mailto:asif@eits.info) Stories I have been suffering from depression for the last 5 years,It all started when I was made redundant, I couldn’t function I didn’t want to I just wanted to hide away from the world, nothing mattered anymore, I went days without washing or dressing myself, and I could not eat I could not sleep. My marriage started to break down; I started to drink and, yes, after the first drink I felt better. But I was using it as a crutch and I found myself drinking more and more, but I was still depressed, I even had suicidal thoughts. I remember saying to myself that the world would be a better place without me. I was of no use to anybody. I realise now that the more I drank the more depressed I felt I might feel low sometimes when problems occur. But I am learning to cope with the ups & downs of life. Notice: Undefined variable: tags in C:\Inetpub\wwwwroot\changeyourhabit.com\b2-include\b2template.functions.php on line 1186
I have been suffering from depression for the last 5 years,It all started when I was made redundant, I couldn’t function I didn’t want to I just wanted to hide away from the world, nothing mattered anymore, I went days without washing or dressing myself, and I could not eat I could not sleep.
My marriage started to break down; I started to drink and, yes, after the first drink I felt better. But I was using it as a crutch and I found myself drinking more and more, but I was still depressed, I even had suicidal thoughts. I remember saying to myself that the world would be a better place without me. I was of no use to anybody.
I realise now that the more I drank the more depressed I felt
I might feel low sometimes when problems occur. But I am learning to cope with the ups & downs of life.
]]> http://www.changeyourhabit.com/index.php?p=139&c=1 2007-04-26T11:02:44 admin (mailto:asif@eits.info) Depression We know that there is a connection - self-harm and suicide are much more common in people with alcohol problems. It seems that it can work in two ways. If we drink alcohol to relieve anxiety or depression, we will become more depressed There is evidence that alcohol changes the chemistry of the brain itself and that this increases the risk of depression. Regular drinking can make life depressing - family arguments, poor work, unreliable memory and sexual problems. Alcohol helps us to forget our problems for a while. It can help us to relax and overcome any shyness. It can make talking easier and more fun, whether in the pub, a club or at a party. It is a very effective way of feeling better for a few hours. If you are depressed and lacking in energy, it can be tempting to use alcohol to help you keep going and cope with life. The problem is that it is easy to slip into drinking regularly, using it like a medication. The benefits soon wear off, the drinking becomes part of a routine, and you have to keep drinking more to get the same effect. There is evidence that, although many drinkers feel depressed when they are drinking, most will start to feel better within a few weeks of stopping. After a few dry weeks, you will probably feel fitter and less depressed. Friends and family may find you easier to get on with. If your feelings of depression lift, this strongly suggests that your drinking was the cause. It may be useful to talk about your feelings, particularly if your depression seems linked to relationship problems, unemployment, divorce, bereavement or some other loss. Treatment for both alcohol problems and depression can be very successful. It helps to see someone you can trust. Psychotherapy/counselling can help you. Notice: Undefined variable: tags in C:\Inetpub\wwwwroot\changeyourhabit.com\b2-include\b2template.functions.php on line 1186
We know that there is a connection - self-harm and suicide are much more common in people with alcohol problems. It seems that it can work in two ways. If we drink alcohol to relieve anxiety or depression, we will become more depressed

There is evidence that alcohol changes the chemistry of the brain itself and that this increases the risk of depression.

Regular drinking can make life depressing - family arguments, poor work, unreliable memory and sexual problems. Alcohol helps us to forget our problems for a while. It can help us to relax and overcome any shyness. It can make talking easier and more fun, whether in the pub, a club or at a party. It is a very effective way of feeling better for a few hours.

If you are depressed and lacking in energy, it can be tempting to use alcohol to help you keep going and cope with life. The problem is that it is easy to slip into drinking regularly, using it like a medication. The benefits soon wear off, the drinking becomes part of a routine, and you have to keep drinking more to get the same effect.
There is evidence that, although many drinkers feel depressed when they are drinking, most will start to feel better within a few weeks of stopping.

After a few dry weeks, you will probably feel fitter and less depressed. Friends and family may find you easier to get on with. If your feelings of depression lift, this strongly suggests that your drinking was the cause.

It may be useful to talk about your feelings, particularly if your depression seems linked to relationship problems, unemployment, divorce, bereavement or some other loss.
Treatment for both alcohol problems and depression can be very successful. It helps to see someone you can trust.

Psychotherapy/counselling can help you.

]]> http://www.changeyourhabit.com/index.php?p=138&c=1 2007-04-26T10:58:55 admin (mailto:asif@eits.info) Depression Learning all you can about depression will help you and your family identify the early signs, Depression affects you physically as well as mentally and emotionally. When you are in a severe depression, it is possible to feel as though there is no point in doing anything you don’t even question why you might feel this way or even why you don’t want to get out of bed, go anywhere, see anyone, say anything, go to work, go shopping, have a bath, etc. You may sleep a lot more or a lot less. You may eat a lot more or lose your appetite almost completely. Just a lot of nothingness. There may be days or part of days where you might feel this great greyness lifting, only for it to descend again and engulf you once more into nothingness. There are many and various reasons why people become depressed. The list is endless; however, some pointers are, personal tragedy, bereavement, illness, divorce, debt or hormonal changes after childbirth to mention only a few. In most cases the GP is the first port of call and may recommend anti-depressants but medication alone is not usually enough. You may need professional counselling to help you overcome this feeling of emptiness, uselessness and futility. To anyone who has not experienced depression, they may think a depressed person is just moody or feeling sorry for himself or herself. They may say “Oh, just snap out of it!” Of course if you could, you would. You and your feeling or lack of feelings should be taken very seriously; one might even think that suicide is the only way out and this is understandable One very important fact to note: Depression is an illness just like any other. You are not responsible; it is not your fault. Notice: Undefined variable: tags in C:\Inetpub\wwwwroot\changeyourhabit.com\b2-include\b2template.functions.php on line 1186
Learning all you can about depression will help you and your family identify the early signs,

Depression affects you physically as well as mentally and emotionally. When you are in a severe depression, it is possible to feel as though there is no point in doing anything you don’t even question why you might feel this way or even why you don’t want to get out of bed, go anywhere, see anyone, say anything, go to work, go shopping, have a bath, etc. You may sleep a lot more or a lot less. You may eat a lot more or lose your appetite almost completely. Just a lot of nothingness.

There may be days or part of days where you might feel this great greyness lifting, only for it to descend again and engulf you once more into nothingness. There are many and various reasons why people become depressed. The list is endless; however, some pointers are, personal tragedy, bereavement, illness, divorce, debt or hormonal changes after childbirth to mention only a few.

In most cases the GP is the first port of call and may recommend anti-depressants but medication alone is not usually enough. You may need professional counselling to help you overcome this feeling of emptiness, uselessness and futility.

To anyone who has not experienced depression, they may think a depressed person is just moody or feeling sorry for himself or herself. They may say “Oh, just snap out of it!” Of course if you could, you would. You and your feeling or lack of feelings should be taken very seriously; one might even think that suicide is the only way out and this is understandable

One very important fact to note: Depression is an illness just like any other. You are not responsible; it is not your fault.
]]> http://www.changeyourhabit.com/index.php?p=101&c=1 2006-11-08T16:58:39 admin (mailto:asif@eits.info) Friends and Family It is a known fact that marriage (or long-term, relationships) and alcohol abuse don’t mix. Having a partner who drinks too much effects and influences, his or her children, relatives, friends, and co-workers feel the effect. However it is also a fact that, not only the abuser but also the partner often pays the greatest price. What are the costs? Couples in which there is a alcohol problem are very often unhappy; in fact, these partners are often more unhappy than couples who don’t have problems with alcohol, but who seek help for marital problems. As the drinking gets worse, it starts to take it’s toll emotionally which becomes difficult to overcome. Couples also report that they fight and argue frequently, this often leads to violence. Often the fighting itself is all that is needed to create a situation in which the partner with the drinking problem uses alcohol as an excuse. When the alcohol use eventually becomes one of the main reasons for fighting or arguing, a vicious cycle occurs, in which alcohol use causes conflict, the conflict leads to more alcohol use as a way of reducing tension,arguments about the alcohol use escalates, more drinking occurs, and so on. Couples in which a partner abuses alcohol have a very difficult time getting out of this downward spiral; fortunately, there are proven ways to help these relationships and, in the process, help the alcohol abuser recover. So, if you or your partner is having a problem with alcohol, there is hope. Notice: Undefined variable: tags in C:\Inetpub\wwwwroot\changeyourhabit.com\b2-include\b2template.functions.php on line 1186
It is a known fact that marriage (or long-term, relationships) and alcohol abuse don’t mix. Having a partner who drinks too much effects and influences, his or her children, relatives, friends, and co-workers feel the effect. However it is also a fact that, not only the abuser but also the partner often pays the greatest price. What are the costs? Couples in which there is a alcohol problem are very often unhappy; in fact, these partners are often more unhappy than couples who don’t have problems with alcohol, but who seek help for marital problems. As the drinking gets worse, it starts to take it’s toll emotionally which becomes difficult to overcome. Couples also report that they fight and argue frequently, this often leads to violence. Often the fighting itself is all that is needed to create a situation in which the partner with the drinking problem uses alcohol as an excuse. When the alcohol use eventually becomes one of the main reasons for fighting or arguing, a vicious cycle occurs, in which alcohol use causes conflict, the conflict leads to more alcohol use as a way of reducing tension,arguments about the alcohol use escalates, more drinking occurs, and so on. Couples in which a partner abuses alcohol have a very difficult time getting out of this downward spiral; fortunately, there are proven ways to help these relationships and, in the process, help the alcohol abuser recover. So, if you or your partner is having a problem with alcohol, there is hope.]]> http://www.changeyourhabit.com/index.php?p=132&c=1 2006-11-07T15:27:48 admin (mailto:asif@eits.info) Friends and Family There are many treatments available that can be effective in reducing or eliminating problems with alcohol. Individual counselling, others involve group counselling, and still others involve self-help meetings and support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotic Anonymous. If you have a problem with drinking or drug use, You need help, not only for you, but also for your partner, children, friends, and others. If your partner has a problem with drugs or alcohol, getting him or her to enter treatment may be one of the best things you can do for him and your relationship. But what if your partner has a drinking problem, but does not want to go to treatment or seek help, because he or she does not think there is a problem or because he or she does not want to be involved in counselling? This is a very common problem. It turns out that alcohol and drug abuse treatment programs have help for concerned family members and work with this very issue. They can give you ideas and information on motivating your partner to consider getting help; these approaches are often very helpful in getting family members who are reluctant to seek help. Notice: Undefined variable: tags in C:\Inetpub\wwwwroot\changeyourhabit.com\b2-include\b2template.functions.php on line 1186
There are many treatments available that can be effective in reducing or eliminating problems with alcohol. Individual counselling, others involve group counselling, and still others involve self-help meetings and support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotic Anonymous. If you have a problem with drinking or drug use, You need help, not only for you, but also for your partner, children, friends, and others. If your partner has a problem with drugs or alcohol, getting him or her to enter treatment may be one of the best things you can do for him and your relationship.

But what if your partner has a drinking problem, but does not want to go to treatment or seek help, because he or she does not think there is a problem or because he or she does not want to be involved in counselling? This is a very common problem. It turns out that alcohol and drug abuse treatment programs have help for concerned family members and work with this very issue. They can give you ideas and information on motivating your partner to consider getting help; these approaches are often very helpful in getting family members who are reluctant to seek help.]]> http://www.changeyourhabit.com/index.php?p=133&c=1 2006-11-06T15:30:30 admin (mailto:asif@eits.info) Friends and Family Treatments for individuals who have a problem with alcohol will include the partner in some way. Research has shown that involving partners in the treatment at some point can be very benificial. It is also important that the problems in the relationship be treated; these problems do not disapear just because the drinking has stopped. Many couples are both surprised and disappointed that they continue to have many fights and arguments after the substance abuse has stopped. The important point is alcohol abuse will causes damage to the marriage or relationship, and these problems need to be addressed. If the issues in the relationship are not delt with, the conflict in the relationship will continue. Eliminating drinking or drug use is only the starting point; once sobriety is attained, a supportive caring relationship can be one of the strongest factors in making that sobriety last. Notice: Undefined variable: tags in C:\Inetpub\wwwwroot\changeyourhabit.com\b2-include\b2template.functions.php on line 1186
Treatments for individuals who have a problem with alcohol will include the partner in some way. Research has shown that involving partners in the treatment at some point can be very benificial. It is also important that the problems in the relationship be treated; these problems do not disapear just because the drinking has stopped. Many couples are both surprised and disappointed that they continue to have many fights and arguments after the substance abuse has stopped.

The important point is alcohol abuse will causes damage to the marriage or relationship, and these problems need to be addressed. If the issues in the relationship are not delt with, the conflict in the relationship will continue. Eliminating drinking or drug use is only the starting point; once sobriety is attained, a supportive caring relationship can be one of the strongest factors in making that sobriety last.]]> http://www.changeyourhabit.com/index.php?p=134&c=1 2006-11-05T15:37:01 admin (mailto:asif@eits.info) Friends and Family Some people with marital problems won’t seek help even when it's essential. If your partner won’t seek help, try to encourage them. It’s impossible to fix a unhappy marriage on your own. Still, if they won’t go, there are some things that you can do for yourself. A therapist is likely to have some useful ideas about how to improve your relationship.Once you have an understanding of alcoholisim you may be able to help your partner. It's not just the drinker who feels the effects of alcohol misuse but family and friends who are living with the problem too. Talk to any friend or family of an alcoholic what it's like to live with that person they will tell you that their daily life is a series of highs and lows as it follows the mood swings and episodes – of drunkenness or sobriety – of their loved one It’s as if you are on a merry-go-round, the problem is how do you get off? You may disagree with the premise that alcohol dependency is an illness, many agree with the strategy of counselling independence for family and friends. 'The biggest piece of advice is to accept that you have no control over their drinking habits. In extreme cases, a partner may have to take the decision to separate to enable a heavy user to take responsibility for their own actions. But this could be the last resort,not an easy course to take but it maybe the only way forward for you. If you do nothing ,nothing will change Notice: Undefined variable: tags in C:\Inetpub\wwwwroot\changeyourhabit.com\b2-include\b2template.functions.php on line 1186
Some people with marital problems won’t seek help even when it's essential. If your partner won’t seek help, try to encourage them. It’s impossible to fix a unhappy marriage on your own. Still, if they won’t go, there are some things that you can do for yourself. A therapist is likely to have some useful ideas about how to improve your relationship.Once you have an understanding of alcoholisim you may be able to help your partner. It's not just the drinker who feels the effects of alcohol misuse but family and friends who are living with the problem too.
Talk to any friend or family of an alcoholic what it's like to live with that person they will tell you that their daily life is a series of highs and lows as it follows the mood swings and episodes – of drunkenness or sobriety – of their loved one
It’s as if you are on a merry-go-round, the problem is how do you get off?
You may disagree with the premise that alcohol dependency is an illness, many agree with the strategy of counselling independence for family and friends. 'The biggest piece of advice is to accept that you have no control over their drinking habits.
In extreme cases, a partner may have to take the decision to separate to enable a heavy user to take responsibility for their own actions. But this could be the last resort,not an easy course to take but it maybe the only way forward for you.


If you do nothing ,nothing will change]]> http://www.changeyourhabit.com/index.php?p=131&c=1 2006-11-04T15:24:39 admin (mailto:asif@eits.info) Friends and Family There are several tell-tale signs that drinking use by a partner is causing harm to the relationship to the point that help from a treatment professional may be needed. The following are some of the common danger signals often seen in couples in which a partner has a alcohol problem: Arguments about drinking or things related to drinking use, such as money problems, staying out late, not taking care of responsibilities in the home, and so on. Having to “cover” for a partner who has been drinking too much by making excuses for him or her, such as calling their workplace to say that your partner is “sick” and won’t be at work today. A partner who say's that he or she drinks to reduce any tension or stress related to arguments and fights in the home about alcohol. Drinking is the only or one of the few things the partners like to do together Episodes of domestic violence, or by either partner are common when a partner has been drinking.The relationship or family as a whole becomes isolated from friends and relatives to hide the drinking problem. Although most couples will not show all of these danger signs, if even one of these is present in your marriage or relationship, it may be time for you to “take stock” of the relationship and think about making it better. That is likely to mean that the drinking will need to stop and the problems in the relationship will need to be identified and addressed. If you or your partner are showing signs of having a problem with alcohol and there are problems in the relationship, it is common to hope these things will take care of themselves over time. Unfortunately, that rarely happens. The better thing to do is to get treatment as soon as possible, or at least call and ask about treatments that may be available to you. If you don’t, the problems are very likely to get worse. Notice: Undefined variable: tags in C:\Inetpub\wwwwroot\changeyourhabit.com\b2-include\b2template.functions.php on line 1186
There are several tell-tale signs that drinking use by a partner is causing harm to the relationship to the point that help from a treatment professional may be needed. The following are some of the common danger signals often seen in couples in which a partner has a alcohol problem:

Arguments about drinking or things related to drinking use, such as money problems, staying out late, not taking care of responsibilities in the home, and so on.
Having to “cover” for a partner who has been drinking too much by making excuses for him or her, such as calling their workplace to say that your partner is “sick” and won’t be at work today.
A partner who say's that he or she drinks to reduce any tension or stress related to arguments and fights in the home about alcohol.
Drinking is the only or one of the few things the partners like to do together
Episodes of domestic violence, or by either partner are common when a partner has been drinking.The relationship or family as a whole becomes isolated from friends and relatives to hide the drinking problem.
Although most couples will not show all of these danger signs, if even one of these is present in your marriage or relationship, it may be time for you to “take stock” of the relationship and think about making it better. That is likely to mean that the drinking will need to stop and the problems in the relationship will need to be identified and addressed. If you or your partner are showing signs of having a problem with alcohol and there are problems in the relationship, it is common to hope these things will take care of themselves over time. Unfortunately, that rarely happens. The better thing to do is to get treatment as soon as possible, or at least call and ask about treatments that may be available to you. If you don’t, the problems are very likely to get worse.]]> http://www.changeyourhabit.com/index.php?p=135&c=1 2006-11-03T15:41:52 admin (mailto:asif@eits.info) Friends and Family Research shows that children of parents who misuse alcohol face multiple problems, with over half reporting physical violence, from either the father, or the mother. Care of the parent, other siblings or household tasks may often fall to a child in these families. Notice: Undefined variable: tags in C:\Inetpub\wwwwroot\changeyourhabit.com\b2-include\b2template.functions.php on line 1186
Research shows that children of parents who misuse alcohol face multiple problems, with over half reporting physical violence, from either the father, or the mother. Care of the parent, other siblings or household tasks may often fall to a child in these families.
]]> http://www.changeyourhabit.com/index.php?p=136&c=1 2006-11-02T15:42:28 admin (mailto:asif@eits.info) Friends and Family For many problem drinkers and their families, however, alcohol is a much more subtle force and often relatives don't suspect there's anything wrong. This is because alcohol remains largely an invisible problem and your typical alcohol dependent looks like an average person, he or she, probably looks very normal and holds down a decent job. However there are likely to be telltale signs, such as a stale odour in the mornings, or erratic behaviour such as skipping commitments or unaccountable moods or aggression. Notice: Undefined variable: tags in C:\Inetpub\wwwwroot\changeyourhabit.com\b2-include\b2template.functions.php on line 1186
For many problem drinkers and their families, however, alcohol is a much more subtle force and often relatives don't suspect there's anything wrong. This is because alcohol remains largely an invisible problem and your typical alcohol dependent looks like an average person, he or she, probably looks very normal and holds down a decent job. However there are likely to be telltale signs, such as a stale odour in the mornings, or erratic behaviour such as skipping commitments or unaccountable moods or aggression.
]]>